We had a tough time last Friday with my preschooler, Clay. He had to learn one of the toughest preschool lessons there is: irreversible consequences. He got sent to the "principal's office" (the director of his preschool) for pushing another kid. When his father picked him up, Clay was told that he wouldn't get dessert that night. Later, at snack time, Dad was gone and I was in charge. Of course, I didn't know about the no dessert punishment. At dinner, when we were talking about our day, Clay let it slip that he had been to the principal's office. Red flag. I asked why he had been there, and he lied that he was sent there to talk about the A-B-Cs. Transgression #2. Once I learned that Clay was supposed to be on punishment, and that he had lied to me, I told Clay his new punishment was going to have to be even bigger than the first one.
The biggest part of every week for Clay is Friday night movie night. Last Friday, for the first time ever, Clay missed Friday night movie night. He was horrified. He cried for hours. Finally, he realized the gravity of what he had done. And this week, his behavior, at school and at home, has been much better.
I can't stress enough the importance of consequences and consistency. It doesn't have to mean corporal punishment, but if you make the threat, be sure to see it through.
Gosh. I hope I don't sound like a meanie. I'm really not! Tomorrow I'll have to write about something cheery.
Ta, ta...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
How to cope with a difficult teacher
A child’s preschool education is critically affected by the attitudes and behaviors of their teachers and caregivers. The more positive and supportive the teacher, the happier and more confident your child will be in preschool. The reverse is also true: Children tend to internalize negative attitudes and behaviors. If you suspect that your child's teacher is not behaving in your child's best interests, it's your parental responsibility to assess the situation and, if necessary, correct it.
That said, you'll need to do so with with tact, diplomacy and restraint. Your goal is to enlist the teacher as an ally, not to create an angry and resentful enemy. I’ve had a few tough experiences with preschool teachers myself. As a result, I've learned some valuable lessons and strategies that might be useful if you're ever faced with a similar situation:
1. Take time to scope out the situation. If you think your child’s preschool teacher is doing something wrong, try not to rush to judgement. Talk to your child. Talk to other parents. If possible, stop in to visit and observe the classroom. As you gather evidence, try to be as objective about it as possible. It may be that your initial impressions were based on your child's fertile imagination or on exaggerations of a one-time occurrence.
2. Try to deal directly with the teacher. Resist the urge to discuss your concerns with the school director until after you've tried to discuss and resolve your issues with the teacher, one-on-one. The less adversarial the environment, the more likely that the two of can reach a quick and painless resolution and the better your odds of strengthening the parent-teacher relationship.
3. Keep things in perspective. When you're deciding how to proceed, try to assess the true impact of the situation. Is your preschool teacher really that bad or is it possible that she's just using a different style than yours?
Ultimately, it’s also helpful to try to remember that one year or several months with a difficult teacher will rarely have a permanent negative effect on your little one. Before you know it, your child has graduated to the next level, and that teacher will seem like a distant memory.
But here’s my true wish for you: May all your teachers be excellent and may you never need any of this advice!
That said, you'll need to do so with with tact, diplomacy and restraint. Your goal is to enlist the teacher as an ally, not to create an angry and resentful enemy. I’ve had a few tough experiences with preschool teachers myself. As a result, I've learned some valuable lessons and strategies that might be useful if you're ever faced with a similar situation:
1. Take time to scope out the situation. If you think your child’s preschool teacher is doing something wrong, try not to rush to judgement. Talk to your child. Talk to other parents. If possible, stop in to visit and observe the classroom. As you gather evidence, try to be as objective about it as possible. It may be that your initial impressions were based on your child's fertile imagination or on exaggerations of a one-time occurrence.
2. Try to deal directly with the teacher. Resist the urge to discuss your concerns with the school director until after you've tried to discuss and resolve your issues with the teacher, one-on-one. The less adversarial the environment, the more likely that the two of can reach a quick and painless resolution and the better your odds of strengthening the parent-teacher relationship.
3. Keep things in perspective. When you're deciding how to proceed, try to assess the true impact of the situation. Is your preschool teacher really that bad or is it possible that she's just using a different style than yours?
Ultimately, it’s also helpful to try to remember that one year or several months with a difficult teacher will rarely have a permanent negative effect on your little one. Before you know it, your child has graduated to the next level, and that teacher will seem like a distant memory.
But here’s my true wish for you: May all your teachers be excellent and may you never need any of this advice!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Preschool Lessons – How to Pick Great Childcare
Susan Price offers some really super suggestions for picking a day care setting for your child. This is one of the most important preschool lessons you can learn. I have had my kids in a total of five different day care centers over the years, and there are definitely things to look for when picking a home day care or child care setting.
Some of her best suggestions:
- Be sure to conduct phone interviews
- Make two onsite visits at different times of day
- Be especially aware of safety issues
- Check references
I would add that it is very important to check the qualifications of the teacher (educational degree, etc.) and the center director. The director sets the tone for the entire center, if you are not comfortable with her (or him), it can be difficult when things go wrong.
You might want to check out Susan’s book:
Multimedia Preschool Lessons – Careful What Your Kids Learn at the Movies!
I consider movies and TV to be an important part of my kids’ preschool education. So I try to make sure the movies they watch show positive images, offer limited violence, and take them to exotic worlds.
With the winter months in full force, there are many weekends where the best activity we can come up with at home is a good ole’ fashioned family movie night. We like to get some yummy popcorn, grab a cozy comforter, and pile onto our couch for some fun. It’s a great way to get a break while keeping our preschool son entertained.
If you’re tired of watching Cars or Finding Nemo for the zillionth time, you might feel tempted to pick a movie that you’ve never seen. But sometimes even rated G moveies have shocking scenes that you wish you could have skipped.
Now there’s a great, free, web site to take out the guesswork when you’re choosing family films. www.kids-in-mind.com rates movies on three scales: sexual content, violence, and profanity. The site also gives shot-by-shot descriptions of every questionable image in the movie.
It’s been an indispensable tool to help us share lots of laughs and avoid nightmares on these special nights. And by the way, check out The Sandlot – it’s a super movie!!
Preschool Lessons - Words of Wisdom from a Mom of 3
As a mom of three, one of whom is still a preschooler, sometimes I feel like I've seen it all. There were countless times when I wished I had a manual of preschool lessons - that is, a guide on how to manage the crazy preschool years. So I thought I would start a resource for those of you out there who have some of the same questions I had. Hope it helps!!
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