How to cope with a difficult teacher

A child’s preschool education is critically affected by the attitudes and behaviors of their teachers and caregivers. The more positive and supportive the teacher, the happier and more confident your child will be in preschool. The reverse is also true: Children tend to internalize negative attitudes and behaviors. If you suspect that your child's teacher is not behaving in your child's best interests, it's your parental responsibility to assess the situation and, if necessary, correct it.

That said, you'll need to do so with with tact, diplomacy and restraint. Your goal is to enlist the teacher as an ally, not to create an angry and resentful enemy. I’ve had a few tough experiences with preschool teachers myself. As a result, I've learned some valuable lessons and strategies that might be useful if you're ever faced with a similar situation:

1. Take time to scope out the situation. If you think your child’s preschool teacher is doing something wrong, try not to rush to judgement. Talk to your child. Talk to other parents. If possible, stop in to visit and observe the classroom. As you gather evidence, try to be as objective about it as possible. It may be that your initial impressions were based on your child's fertile imagination or on exaggerations of a one-time occurrence.

2. Try to deal directly with the teacher. Resist the urge to discuss your concerns with the school director until after you've tried to discuss and resolve your issues with the teacher, one-on-one. The less adversarial the environment, the more likely that the two of can reach a quick and painless resolution and the better your odds of strengthening the parent-teacher relationship.

3. Keep things in perspective. When you're deciding how to proceed, try to assess the true impact of the situation. Is your preschool teacher really that bad or is it possible that she's just using a different style than yours?

Ultimately, it’s also helpful to try to remember that one year or several months with a difficult teacher will rarely have a permanent negative effect on your little one. Before you know it, your child has graduated to the next level, and that teacher will seem like a distant memory.

But here’s my true wish for you: May all your teachers be excellent and may you never need any of this advice!